What is it with skins? They think they’re soooo clever. If they are clever, how come they don’t grow thicker fur in winter? Answer that and stay looking unflustered. Stupid skins!!! Ok – caaaaaaaaalm doooooooown, deep breaths.
You’re probably wondering why I’m getting myself worked up?, I’ll tell you why: I’ve just found out why my Dad called me Bones. Its because he reckons when he first saw me I had a wrinkly little face that reminded me of some old skin actor called Deforest Kelley. He was the one who played Dr McCoy in Star Trek, whose nickname on the show was…….yep, Bones. Lord, take me now! I couldn’t have a normal name like Jess or Alf, I had to get this label that I wouldn’t wish on a cat!
Right then you big no-fur, let’s just see how funny you think it is when you find the little gift I’ve just left in your slipper!!!!