Cats are pointless


Yesterday I went through a list of cats that really get up my nose, I hope you enjoyed reading it and I hope it served as a reminder of just how annoying cats can be, both on tv and in real life.

I mentioned yesterday how I have left the world’s two most pointless cats out of it: Raffles and Milly. I thought I’d show you a couple of photos of the sort of creatures they are.


This is Milly, a scruffy and skinny common moggy. Brought up in a Birmingham bin she learned to scavenge from an early age and as such obviously cannot be trusted.
As a cat she has no interest in running to fetch a thrown stick or ball and doesn’t seem to want to go for a walk – so why have a cat in the first place? She just follows dad around and sleeps all day. A pointless waste of fur if you ask me.
I’m shocked that dad seems so fond of her, I think she’s ignorant and rude. She’s probably got fleas too.


The other pain under the tail is the ginger good-for-nothing Raffles.
This is not the sort of cat you’d want to meet in a dark alley. As I have mentioned in a previous post, me and Raffles got off on the wrong paw from the first moment we met. Jess and Alf seem to think that Raffles is some kind of king of cats but I’m not impressed, it takes more than a big lump like that to get me scared.
Mom says that Raffles is handsome, but come on, look at that face, have you ever seen a more evil glint in an eye?
I’m a growing lad and one day me and Raffles are going to have a reckoning. I’m not sure if the house will still be standing when we’re finished but I promise you this: only one of us will still be standing!

6 responses to “Cats are pointless

  1. What is it with you and that bird anyway? I thought he was your friend. I heard that sometimes they can speak skin language, why would they want to though? Don’t skins talk rubbish most of the time?

  2. lol.. they are cute. Even if you dont get along with them! 😀 but I would really like to know what the point of cats is… I just dont get it!!! They used to control the rat infestation in the past.. but they dont even kill rats anymore.. you know?!

  3. Bones, your Dad once told me his cat Milly was better looking than Jennifer Aniston. After picture evidence, I have to disagree.

    • As a friend of my dad you should know he can’t stand aniston, he says she looks like a guineapig he once owned; I don’t know what a guineapig is so I couldn’t possibly comment. For some bizarre reason he adores that skinny cat, so I’m surprised he mentioned them both in the same sentence.

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