Bones’ schedule

For those of you who are wondering what a regular day is like for your favorite Border Terrier I’ve written the following:

5am Only on a weekday do I get up this early because this is what time mom gets up for work. I sleep in an indoor kennel, which is a cage and I love it because it’s warm and comfortable. Dad put a blanket over it so it’s like a cave, somewhere that’s all mine. Jess has one of her own in the kitchen, although it’s alot bigger than mine because she’s a huge troll. Alf doesn’t like indoor kennels and prefers to sleep on the sofa.

Mom releases the beasts and me into the garden for our first widdle of the day. When she’s dressed we head out for our morning walk. Sometimes Jess refuses to come with us if it even looks like rain, she goes back to bed – her loss. We head down to the fields and run around like maniacs. When we get home I go back into my playpen until dad gets up.

8am Dad finally drags his lazy butt out of his pit and lets me back out into the garden with the dopey dogs after copious amounts of fuss. He goes to his computer after breakfast and that’s the last we hear from him until lunch. We run around the garden or crash out on the kitchen floor or have a fight, every dog for themselves. There’s two big bowls of water and plenty of toys so we’re happy.

12.30pm We get a treat each and more fuss and perhaps a ball game in the garden. He puts me back in my kennel for a sleep. The other dogs usually sleep in the afternoon too.

2.30pm Dad lets us out into the garden again and we run around for a bit.

4pm Mom is usually back from work by now, we always know which car is hers by the sound of the engine, Alf and me start barking and dad yells “shut up”. Mom gets changed and we’re off across the fields again. Other dogs get their walks around this time so we all meet up and go running in a pack while the skins walk together and moan about stuff that isn’t really all that important.

If it’s a warm day we go charging into the pond. Alf runs like he’s in the dog olympics and dives like a mad salmon into the water, with his girlfriend Ellie usually with him, swimming around. Jess paddles and sometimes sits in the shallows like she’s cooling her immense backside. I love a good paddle and splash and have just tried my first little swim, which was absolutely fantastic, I’ll swim everytime from now on.

6pm is feeding time! We all eat in different rooms because we try to steal food from each other’s bowls. Have you ever noticed how much better food tastes when you’re eating from someone else’s bowl? This always causes a ruck so we’re kept apart. After eating we go into the garden for ablu…..ablutio…..poos and widdles.

6.30pm The skins sit down to eat, I get put in my playpen because I try to steal food from them. Skins are strange like that, I’ve told them they are very welcome to try and take food from my bowl, but they don’t seem interested.

After they eat the skins like to watch TV together, Alf and Jess stretch out and have a doze, I go to dad for fuss or mainly to chew his slipper/sleeve/hand/ear. Eventually he gets tired and puts me in my cage so I can watch TV with them without being “a little bleeder” as dad says.

9pm Mom goes off to bed if its a week night and dad watches a film or some sport he’s recorded. He likes watching rugby and cricket, but most of all he loves watching football and boxing. When he watches football he gets a bit excited and sometimes shouts at the TV; he often questions the parentage of the referee, which is hardly any of his business! It’s worse when he watches boxing, he holds his hands up in a guard and throws punches, saying things like “…keep your right up when you jab….combinations, combinations…..go downstairs….” I don’t know what he’s talking about but it is soooo funny to watch. He ends up more tired than the fighters.

10-11pm I go out for a last widdle before bed time. Jess disappears into her cage and dad pulls the blanket down so it’s nice and cosy for her. Alf jumps on the sofa and shuts his eyes almost straight away and then dad puts me away in my cage. I’m glad I’m back in my cage, I feel warm and comfortable and I am so tired. I’m looking forward to going for a walk in the morning, maybe I’ll see Riya in the afternoon. It’s going to be another great day tomorrow, I just know it. So tired now, I go to sleep and dream of long grass and muddy puddles.


11 responses to “Bones’ schedule

  1. Stealing food is fun, isn’t it? When my people leave the house I always steal the cat’s food. Even though it’s on the back of a counter I can reach it. Sometimes my people remember to put the cat’s food dish on top of the refrigerator. I haven’t figured out how to jump that high yet.

    • Lol….no it’s an English expression meaning someone who is being naughty or can be a noun when used with an adjective eg filthy little bleeder, annoying little bleeder, stupid little bleeder. It doesn’t seem to be in use as much any more as stronger expletives are becoming, it seems, more acceptable for common usage; although, you won’t hear me barking them!

  2. This post was a lot of fun to read. Thank you Bones for sharing your typical day with us. Ever since ive come home I have to keep leena and marsh apart at breakfast and dinner bec leena is young (7 months) and eats really fast and then she tries to steal marshy’s food. He eats slowly bec he’s 11 years old so I can relate to you.

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