There, I’ve done it just like I said I would, have no doubt – Bones is pure drum n bass !!!!!!!!!
Yesterday I climbed the stairs all the way to the top. Raffles turned up just as I reached the landing, you should have seen his stupid cat face, it was so funny. He hissed and spat at me but I just turned my back to him, flicked my tail like I’ve seen Milly do it and strolled into the bedroom. He was furious but there was nothing he could do because dad was there and said, “forget it Raff.” He wanted to take a swipe at me but knew he couldn’t get me without a fight, and by that time dad would split it up and tell us both off.
He followed me around the bed hissing like it was going to make a difference to me. I went into the bathroom to take a look, I still can’t believe they use litter trays, how lazy not to go outside to do their business? I didn’t particularly like the smell of the dirty cats so I went for a wander to look at the other rooms. By this time Raffles was on the bed getting ready to jump on me, I’m sure if he had then I would be as flat as a furry pancake. Milly had come out of another room to see what the noise was about, she didn’t look too happy to see me either; I was in severe danger of getting double-teamed here. I heard Alf come to the bottom of the stairs and start growling, he knew what was going on and headed up the stairs in a hurry to perform some kind of rescue mission, which is brave because he is afraid of Raffles. Just when it was about to turn into a major incident dad stepped in and picked me up. He took me down stairs and told Alfie, who was halfway to the top, to get back down too. The cats sat at the top of the stairs glaring down, how dare that little puppy come into our kingdom?
BUT! It doesn’t end there. Oh no…..as soon as dad went back to his desk, and the cats dispersed, I set off again up the wooden hill. The windbag cats weren’t going to stop me, I’m not scared of them. I got to the top and Raffles was sitting there in absolute stunned silence, he couldn’t believe that I’d try it again. He was sat by their food bowls making a low whiney/growly sound in his throat. I ignored him and walked up to the cat bowls and ate the lot! IN YOUR FACE FAT RAFFLES!!!!!!
The dumb cat just had no idea what to do, he wouldn’t have looked more shocked than if I’d gone up and cocked my leg on him…..now there was an idea……but dad noticed me there again, rushed over, grabbed me and took me back downstairs just as Raffles shook himself out of his stupor, I reckon another 5 seconds and the battle would have commenced.
Dad gave me a stern telling off but I wasn’t bothered or listening – I had been there and done it, I had conquered Everest, I had been to the moon and back, I had turned base metal into gold – I had shown Raffles who was king of the hill and he could kiss my furry rump! I was sure the other dogs would look at me in awe like some kind of hero, but Alfie growled at me not to be so stupid again and Jess rolled her eyes and called me an idiot as they both walked away.
They’re soooooo jealous.