As you know, if you’ve been reading Bones’ Diary for a while, I am still a fairly young dog and this will be my first winter. I enjoyed spring and summer immensely because the sun shone and it was wonderful to be alive; autumn was great because the leaves were scattered on the ground and I had fun scattering them further. Although I moaned in a previous blog about the weather, I have no reason to suspect winter to be anything else but brilliant. Life is grand and I love being a dog.
Some of the houses in our street have changed in the last few days: all of a sudden there are little lights all over them that flash and twinkle when it gets dark. Although I think Flash and Twinkle are the sort of dumb names that skins give to cats, I don’t let that distract me from this amazing sight as I sit on the arm of the sofa with my head behind the curtains. What is going on?
Alf tells me that christmas is coming, who is christmas? Why is he coming here? Does he want a fight? Alf laughed and said that christmas isn’t a who but a what, it is a special time of the year when skins get all excited and put on weight. Jess muttered as she lumbered past that christmas is also a “who”, she mentioned Father Christmas. I looked at Alf, “who is Father Christmas?” He told me that its someone who is also called Santa Claus who comes down the chimney. I was horrified: anyone comes down our chimney they get their butts chewed. Alf said that it would probably not be the real santa, but Jess in a red suit and fake beard, she’s the only one the suit would fit. I was confused: “What? How’s Jess going to get on the roof?” Alf smiled and said “that, my young Bones, is the magic of christmas.”
The postman looks tired, he has to carry all the extra cards that skins send to each other at this time of the year. Knocking the door with strange boxes that dad rushes upstairs with to hide. Dad hates shopping so he orders everything online from a big river called amazon. Skins buy each other presents to represent what these three wiseguys bought for baby Jesus when he was born in a shed. They were gold, frankenstein and mirth. Hardly presents for a baby but what do you expect if you invite gangsters to a party?
From what I understand of it, christmas is a special time when it’s supposed to be peace to all skins. I hope this year that someone listens to that message and really gets it this time. I heard that since Jesus was born there has only been a few days of peace, when there was no wars going on in the world at all… in the last 2000-odd years? Oh come on! Enough!!! Skins are constantly killing each other…..why? Is it because they can’t agree what is the best way to worship their God? Is it because of a line on a map? Is it because someone spilled someone else’s beer? All of the above yet not just because of the above. Skins are at war because they are too stupid to enjoy peace (I mean, what would they do with their time?) and someone somewhere else is making a fat profit out of others’ misery, pain and death.
Time to stop?