Bones to infinity and beyond

Last night I strolled into the garden for my “last widdle of the day” ritual, as I do every night. I wandered over to my favourite rock and cocked my leg then watched as Jess and Alf did their business and headed inside. I like to be last in to make sure that my big sister and brother get in ok, and make sure the garden is secure.

Instead of going straight in though, I sat down and looked up. I could see stars twinkling down, winking at me and I felt at peace. Dad was tucking Jess in so I had a minute or so to myself, just to sit there and look at the stars. I remembered an old skin I heard about called Hermes or Herman or something who was from Egypt or Greece or somewhere that’s probably on the other side of the fields down the bottom of our road; he lived a long way away and a long time ago, he probably had a beard. He said something about “As is above, so is below,” I think that’s what he said. I’d never thought about it before, it’s just one of the crazy things skins come out with when they’re trying to pretend that they’re intelligent. Yet as all dogs know, skins couldn’t find their own butts with both hands without us to look after them.

Last night as I gazed up at the stars, it occurred to me that the bearded one was right; keep up with me now. If you look at the stars, each one of them is a sun like we’ve got, each with their own planets circling them. Now, think about the atoms that make up your bodies; each of them has a nucleus surrounded by orbiting electrons that looks like a micro solar system. I bet a penny to a pinch of pig poo that inside the nucleus there the whole thing is repeated but smaller. And the solar system is only one of billions that make up a galaxy, and the galaxy is only one of billions that make up the universe; I will go double or nothing on that penny to say that there are billions more universes!

So what does this mean? Well it means, as I look at it, we are all connected to and part of …..well, everything! Taking it further, something holds all this together, something is inbetween the solid matter, be it suns and planets or protons, neutrons and electrons. This is not a vacuum, it cannot be nothing because nothing by definition cannot exist. This dark matter, this vibration, this multi-universal consciousness binds everything. Some may refer to it as God, because God is everywhere. Doesn’t that lead to a logical conclusion that God is in all of us and we are all part of God? This is not about religion, this is physics.

“Y’ok boy?” I looked around and dad was stood in the doorway, the light from the kitchen forming a halo around his head as he smiled down at me. Maybe I was wrong after all.


Sneaky Bones

Bones’ Diary has been silent for a while and there is a very good reason for that , your favourite Border Badboy can’t get near the computer! Dad is hogging it all the time because he’s getting loads of work writing articles and press releases for the clients of Zero-One Design, a website design firm. So while he’s happily tapping away like a mad tapper I’m sitting here twiddling my toes. It’s not fair! As you know, he doesn’t realise that I sneakily use his computer when he’s not around; if he found out I reckon I might suffer the same fate as the Three Blind Mice, and trust me – I really don’t want to lose my tail…what would I wag?

If I could, I would get my own computer, but where do I get the cash? He won’t give me any because amazingly he thinks I’m just an ordinary mutt, he must be the only one I know that doesn’t realise I am a blogging dog. Even my mom knows by now she’s raising a pup prodigy. There is no such thing as an ordinary mutt, we’re all special, look at Bassa, Sage or Bongo or any of the other fantastic dog bloggers out there in the blogosphere (can’t mention them all, I can hear him moving around and he’ll be back tapping soon!). We demand respect and we won’t stop barking until we get it!

Bones on guitar

This is a school exercise that was written by a young man called Jack, my dad’s cousin’s son. I believe young Jack is a regular reader of Bones’ Diary. Not many of you know I can play guitar; I’ll be dueting with Slash sometime soon. Well done Jack, this is excellent work. A+ (click on the image to enlarge it and you can read Jack’s work)

The trouble with…generalising

Venturing into Cesar Millan’s website is like venturing into my backyard: sooner rather than later you’re going to come across a huge pile of poo. To prove my point here is a particularly smelly article titled “What Does Your Dog Breed Say About You?”

One of the biggest problems in the world is the tendency to make generalisations about others based on certain characteristics: eg. the trouble with fat/skinny people, gay/straight/bi people, christian/jewish/muslim/hindu/sikh/buddhist people, black/white/brown/yellow people is……… followed by a sweeping statement based on…well, nothing. It makes us feel superior to others, a comforting thought to keep us warm at night – things aren’t great but at least I’m better than…

It only serves to divide us, set us against one another when we should be joining together and making it a better world. An individuals race, creed, colour, breed or body mass index are not what should be taken into account, but their belonging to the great family that populates this lonely rock spinning through space should. Don’t look at others as different, embrace them for being the same as you: thinking, feeling, fearing, enjoying, loving. I can’t remember who said it but someone once wrote something along the lines of: “Every face is beautiful because every face is the image of the creator.” I apologise if I slightly misquoted there but you get the gist.

By the way, I’m not blaming all the ills of the world on the dog botherer, I’m sure he’s a very nice skin; I was just making a generalisation about skins who make generalisations….oops!










The philosopher Bones 

Inappropriate Bones

I’m a little embarrassed about this and ashamed to say but, as you are my very best friends, I suppose I can confide in you. One of our neighbours came round to tell my dad of a bereavement, I won’t go into too much detail here you understand. She was obviously upset and dad sat her down on the sofa as she was telling him of her grief. I decided to try and cheer her up so I jumped onto the sofa next to her, clamped onto her arm and started humping.

You could have heard a pin drop in the room as I went for it with everything I had, I looked over my shoulder at dad, my face a mask of effort, to say “don’t mind me…carry on talking if you want.” But dad was horrified, he spluttered and tried to speak but the words just came out as a gasp, “Bones – no…!” Jess and Alf sat their with their jaws slack, totally in shock. “Grab a leg each guys?” but they were like statues. Mom came into the room then and grabbed my collar before leading me to my playpen, all the while she was muttering apologies.

I didn’t think about it at the time but as I sat in my playpen I realised what I had done and now I am full of remorse. Alf said it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen, he reckons I looked like a gargoyle, all wild-eyed and grinning like a maniac. Jess said I was a dirty little pervert, I don’t know what a pervert is but it doesn’t sound good. I was only trying to help; just don’t tell anyone okay?



Bones knows a secret

My dad found his eggcup yesterday as he was nosing through one of the kitchen cupboards. I was hanging around to see if he found any little treats or nibbles he might give me. He took it down from the shelf and looked at it like it was the Holy Grail itself (if you believe it’s a cup that is – but that’s for another time); it’s got a picture of a rather constipated looking cow on it, I didn’t know cows layed eggs – perhaps this was the reason the cow looked so uncomfortable, it was laying it’s first cow-egg! Dad looked down at me and said “Y’know what lil man? I ain’t had a boiled egg for time.” I told him that boiling a cow-egg might take a while, it must weigh half a ton, I also reminded him that “ain’t” is not a word and there is no excuse for lazy English;  as usual he wasn’t listening to me, if only he did he might learn something…skins bah!

Out comes the saucepan and a watch to time the operation and he set to work boiling two eggs. I realised then that they were hens eggs because there is no way you’d fit a calf in there. Not long after we’re in the living room with the tv on, two 3-minute eggs, a stack of toast and a mug of tea. Like the half decent dad he is, he gve me a corner or two of toast to munch on while he filled his face. Jess and Alf came wondering over and both sat down in front of dad to beg for their share of his bounty, he duly obliged despite my protestations that they were only pretending to be good dogs while there was toast on offer.

When the food was all gone and the stinking collies had drifted away after taking part of my share of dad’s food, he sat there sipping his tea with a big contented smile on his face. I sat and watched him as he enjoyed the feeling of a full belly. He looked at me and gave a big happy sigh, “It’s the little things Bones, y’know what I mean?” I think I do know, folks spend too much time looking for the big things to go their way like winning the lottery or something, looking forward to special occasions like christmas or birthdays etc. They worry about things that might never happen. They don’t stop to relish the little things, like going for a walk, eating a good meal, enjoying being with people they love, breathing fresh air, being alive: the little things that we take for granted. You take all these little things into account and add them all up then you realise that life is a really great gift – that right there is the secret of life and once you know and understand it the world seems so much better.