Inappropriate Bones

I’m a little embarrassed about this and ashamed to say but, as you are my very best friends, I suppose I can confide in you. One of our neighbours came round to tell my dad of a bereavement, I won’t go into too much detail here you understand. She was obviously upset and dad sat her down on the sofa as she was telling him of her grief. I decided to try and cheer her up so I jumped onto the sofa next to her, clamped onto her arm and started humping.

You could have heard a pin drop in the room as I went for it with everything I had, I looked over my shoulder at dad, my face a mask of effort,Β to say “don’t mind me…carry on talking if you want.” But dad was horrified, he spluttered and tried to speak but the words just came out as a gasp, “Bones – no…!”Β Jess and Alf sat their with their jaws slack, totally in shock. “Grab a leg each guys?” but they were like statues. Mom came into the room then and grabbed my collar before leading me to my playpen, all the while she was muttering apologies.

I didn’t think about it at the time but as I sat in my playpen I realised what I had done and now I am full of remorse. Alf said it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen, he reckons I looked like a gargoyle, all wild-eyed and grinning like a maniac. Jess said I was a dirty little pervert, I don’t know what a pervert is but it doesn’t sound good. I was only trying to help; just don’t tell anyone okay?

 

 

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18 responses to “Inappropriate Bones

  1. I am in fits of laughter here. With my hand over my mouth in horror and sympathy for your mum and dad. It may be some comfort for them to know that, as someone who has recently been bereved, that would have made me laugh like a drain then as well. But I think I may be a little inappropriate at the best (and worst) of times too. I really hope your neighbour saw the funny side, or does in the future! πŸ˜€

  2. Hilarious! I collapsed with laughter when I read the line, “all wild-eyed and grinning like a maniac”. That’s a picture I won’t forget in a hurry! πŸ™‚

    Seriously though Bones, you need to get out more! I hope your dad sits you down and tells you about the birds and the bees. It has nothing to do with the birds and the bees but you will find it interesting πŸ™‚

  3. Bones!! Bless your heart you were trying to help…you just got a bit over zealous. You gave us a big laugh. I can understand the way all your family reacted…we would be mortified around here if Chancy did that. Hugs and nose kisses

  4. Okay… after five minutes of laughing till our ribs hurt we are ready to post now… the picture you described of yourself is burned into our minds and we cant stop laughing…. I would keep writing but I am laughing too hard to do so… GREAT POST!!!!!

    Your laughing friends,
    The laughing collies and the sore ribbed chuck πŸ™‚

  5. Bones, I do exactly the same, whenever my mummy is feeling a little under the weather, I like to cheer her up by showing how much I LOVE her. I’m more of a ‘leg’ pooch these days, maybe you should try this appendage in future & it’s not so uncomfortable for the ‘skins’ either!!

    A pawtastic post πŸ˜€

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