Dad told me it was a big day for me, a special day. He was treating me, yeah some treat.
He put me in the car and off we went. 10 minutes later we pull up at this place I’d never been to before. It had Dogsbodies written on the window, I thought my number was up! This is where they shoot dogs and pile up their bodies?
Dad took me inside, I was a bit wary but I doubted dad would let me down. A skin inside greeted us and dad introduced me, “This is Bones,” he said. I puffed my chest out and looked up at him – yeah that’s right, you heard him, I’m Bones. dad handed over the lead and said goodbye before leaving back out the way we had come in. I tried to follow but the skin held me back. Dad turned and told me to behave myself; that would be a first, I thought to myself.
With that the door closed and he was gone. I was alone with a stranger in a strange place. This was not good. He led me through another door and all of a sudden I was confronted by other skins with dogs I didn’t know on tables, the skins were scrubbing and brushing and cutting off their fur. A torture chamber!
I growled and took a step back, warning them not to come near me but a springer spaniel told me it was ok and nobody was trying to hurt me. I told him “Bones hands out the hurt,” but I admit to being a little scared. I decided the best thing to do was make this place my own and started widdling up every available space. From then on everyone knew that this was now Bones’ turf – don’t mess!!!!
The skin lifted me onto one of the tables. Friends it was horrible! I was scrubbed and made to smell like a tart’s handbag, my ears were cleaned, my claws were clipped and my fur was torn from my body. Two and a half hours this lasted, two and a half hours of hell.
When they had finished they phoned my dad. He pulled up outside and came in. When he saw me he started laughing, “They’ve taken years off you Bones, you look like a pup again.” I can’t afford to lose years, I’m only 18 months old. He paid the skin for humiliating me and put me in the car. “I can’t believe how cute you look,” said dad. Get stuffed dad,” I replied.
We got home, the stinking collies had been worried about me when dad had come home previously minus your pal Bones. Now they didn’t recognise me when I walked in and rushed over to sniff me and push me with their noses. When they realised it was actually me they started laughing too, “who’s a pretty boy then?” Said Alf, I’m not a parrot for crying out loud! I growled at them and walked away. I looked back just as dad was taking the above picture, thanks a bunch dad, thanks a bloody bunch!