Where have you been Bones?

I can’t believe it has been so long since I tapped out the last entry into Bones’ Diary. I wonder if anyone has missed me? You were probably wondering why it has been so long? Mostly it is because my dad has been hogging the computer too much trying to write his book: “Me & Gus on the Roof of the World.” At the same time he is writing his own blog to promote it and tweeting or twittering or being a twit…whatever, it’s just annoying! I suppose I could use my mom’s netbook but the keys are too small and close together for my paws. What’s a dog to do?

Maybe I could put in my letter to Santa that I want my own PC (puppy computer), and that if he brings me one I promise to be a good little dog. Which brings me to the other reason I haven’t had much time to write: I’ve been a bit of a bad lad. I developed a taste for furniture design and busied myself the other day reshaping the sofa; it’s not difficult, anyone can do it – a little chunk here and a little chunk there. Dad didn’t seem impressed with my artistry and went a little crazy, “You little ******* you’ve eaten the sofa!” Obviously I hadn’t eaten it, even chubby Jess couldn’t get that down her neck, I’d spat the pieces of foam on the floor.

He went out with mom for a couple of hours and when they returned he announced that they’d been and ordered a new one; he turned to me and thanked me for my efforts and said he was so pleased he had to pay all that money out. “My pleasure dad, would you like to consult on my redesign of the new one?” I don’t know if he understood that or it was the big smile on my face that he saw but he pointed a threatening finger at me and hissed,”Bones, if you even look at the new sofa I will beat you to death with your own freshly severed tail!” Hmm, a bit harsh methinks.

I’ve been keeping my head down recently, staying out of his way and behaving as best I can. That’s partly the reason I haven’t been on his computer, I don’t want to antagonise him. He’ll forget about it eventually and I can set about my next project, an armchair that I consider a tad overstuffed.


20 responses to “Where have you been Bones?

  1. Well,, I, for one, missed you Bones and was wondering what you’ve been up to. As I hear, you’ve been renovating! I used to do that when 4yrs old. As much as I loved playing the piano, I hated the “plain” non decorated – unimaginative – flat design and one day I picked a sharp metal something and started “decorating” it. Needles to say, my parents weren’t pleased and …guess what, they found this material and covered my art! It’s an unjust world, what can I say! I only hope you get your own computer soon, so you can create freely! Be well, and oh, by the way, I’d suggest you stay away from the armchair! I suspect your skin is quite attached to it and wouldn’t appreciate any changes!

  2. Overstuffed armchairs are the worst. Good luck with redesigning that. Your Dad is bound to be pleased when he is allowed to go and spend money on a new one.
    A puppy computer – that’s a brilliant idea. Why has no-one ever thought of making one better designed for your paws. Hopefully some very clever designer/engineer reads this and makes it all possible.
    Nice to have you back!

  3. We were wondering Bones.. and we have been tied up for weeks too not being able to regularly visit our friends. But, we are back.. Ginger says do work on any woodwork first and then follow that for redesigning the chair……..make sure you design a beer cup holder hole in the arm….heheheh

  4. Well, you notice how long it took me to find out about your furniture redesign business. It sorta sounds like your business is going into some kind of bankruptcy if your Dad has anything more to say about it. I sure hope jail time isn’t in your future!

  5. Hee hee. Flo’s ‘cushion evisceration’ experiment showed that, with the right foam stuffing (and obviously the right dismantling), one deceptively small cushion could (a) be made to cover the entire lawn, and (b) fill a large wheelie bin to the top. Well done Bones. We’re really keen to see how far a sofa will go. Ambitious, but you can do it. 🙂

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