Skins with tails?

So what’s next? Us walking them?

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/video/mood-brain-controlled-tails-humans-112009597.html

I’m not sure if this is the brightest or the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. Read the above and decide for yourself, leave me a comment and let me know what you think.

Good for something

My dad’s guilt over the desecration of my nether regions has worked to my advantage. This stupid cone prevents me from enjoying a good scratch on and around my ears. Dad has very kindly been helping me out and I spends time with him in the evening getting my ears, head and neck scratched. At least he is good for something. I don’t blame him really for my loss, it seems he was talked into it by mom who, as all females of every species do, wanted me snipped. She decided that I was a danger to the whole neighbourhood and took this drastic action to curtail me.

It’s been over a week now that I’ve been walking around with a cone on my head like an icecream terrier. Tomorrow I have my stitches out and thus the cone comes off.

No more bumping into doors because I have misjudged the gap; no more will the collies pull my tail to switch on the light because they say I look like a lamp; no more will they sneak up behind me and bark up my butt because I look like a megaphone. Or try to get me to howl and pretend it’s an air raid. I’ve had enough, just leave me alone!

An old skin over in the fields even made fun of me as I was playing with his dog. He said “Oh look, it’s His Master’s Voice.” I didn’t know what he was on about until I saw an advertisement for HMV music store. GRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

The stupid cone is mashed up anyway, it is scarred with collie teeth marks from where I’ve foresaken my rest and recuperation period and fought on despite the plastic handicap the cone represented.

Ah but….tomorrow everything changes. I will be free of this encumberance and if they think that depriving me of the chance to build an army of Border Terrier Badboys will somehow calm me down and make me a lapdog…oh dear oh dear – they are going to be mightily disappointed. My friends, the war has only intensified…hehehehe

There will never be peace, never! I will fight on until there is not another dog standing in my street or until the last beat of my heart has finally been silenced.

Vengeance will be mine sayeth Bones!

 

What have you done dad?

image

Dad told me it was a big day for me, a special day. He was treating me, yeah some treat.

He put me in the car and off we went. 10 minutes later we pull up at this place I’d never been to before. It had Dogsbodies written on the window, I thought my number was up! This is where they shoot dogs and pile up their bodies?

Dad took me inside, I was a bit wary but I doubted dad would let me down. A skin inside greeted us and dad introduced me, “This is Bones,” he said. I puffed my chest out and looked up at him – yeah that’s right, you heard him, I’m Bones. dad handed over the lead and said goodbye before leaving back out the way we had come in. I tried to follow but the skin held me back. Dad turned and told me to behave myself; that would be a first, I thought to myself.

With that the door closed and he was gone. I was alone with a stranger in a strange place. This was not good. He led me through another door and all of a sudden I was confronted by other skins with dogs I didn’t know on tables, the skins were scrubbing and brushing and cutting off their fur. A torture chamber!

I growled and took a step back, warning them not to come near me but a springer spaniel told me it was ok and nobody was trying to hurt me. I told him “Bones hands out the hurt,” but I admit to being a little scared. I decided the best thing to do was make this place my own and started widdling up every available space. From then on everyone knew that this was now Bones’ turf – don’t mess!!!!

The skin lifted me onto one of the tables. Friends it was horrible! I was scrubbed and made to smell like a tart’s handbag, my ears were cleaned, my claws were clipped and my fur was torn from my body. Two and a half hours this lasted, two and a half hours of hell.

When they had finished they phoned my dad. He pulled up outside and came in. When he saw me he started laughing, “They’ve taken years off you Bones, you look like a pup again.” I can’t afford to lose years, I’m only 18 months old. He paid the skin for humiliating me and put me in the car. “I can’t believe how cute you look,” said dad. Get stuffed dad,” I replied.

We got home, the stinking collies had been worried about me when dad had come home previously minus your pal Bones. Now they didn’t recognise me when I walked in and rushed over to sniff me and push me with their noses. When they realised it was actually me they started laughing too, “who’s a pretty boy then?” Said Alf, I’m not a parrot for crying out loud! I growled at them and walked away. I looked back just as dad was taking the above picture, thanks a bunch dad, thanks a bloody bunch!