Cinema for Dogs

You may have noticed from my previous posts about dog idols I’m a big fan of films and tv. I love watching the old goggle box with my mom and dad, well dad mostly; mom tends to watch some fairly dire telly: murder she wrote, diagnosis murder, the housewives of orange county; or as dad calls them “the bloody orange women”, probably all that fake tan. He says they’re all tits and teeth, but I don’t know what that means.

Dad prefers sport and old films, although I get a bit bored watching his┬ádull documentaries so I go off looking for mischief. Me? I love cartoons, especially if there’s a dog involved. Even a coyote like Wile E. Coyote, an inventive and determined lad although he lets the side down when constantly beaten by a bird.

Mom likes to go to the cinema but Dad doesn’t, he says he can’t stand hearing people eating in the dark. Bizarre, why doesn’t he go and beg food off them? That’s what I’d do.

I’d like to go to the cinema but for some reason dogs aren’t allowed, how unfair is that? They should have a special screening for dogs to watch dog movies: Marley and Me, Beethoven, Turner & Hooch,┬áSex and the City 2 (four old dogs in that one lol!!!). The cinema could provide a bowl of water and a bucket of treats instead of popcorn. It would be a winner! Mind you the seats might get a bit mashed when we pull all the stuffing out of them.

Dad says that Hollywood hardly ever comes up with an original idea anymore, it’s all remakes and characters from comics. It doesn’t matter if the acting and script are awful, just as long as the special effects keep the audience interested. A product and a symptom of society’s brain death, he says……moaning git my dad. This summer’s blockbuster could be Rise of the Planet of the Apes, another rehash. It’s meant to be a prequel showing how it all started with the apes taking over but be honest – would anyone notice if they did?

Dad seems to think I should be allowed in the cinema: he told mom I should watch Rise of the Planet of the Apes because I look like a little monkey; yes but at least I’m not descended from one….