Slimy slippers

image courtesy of shoesbymail.co.uk

image courtesy of shoesbymail.co.uk

My dad loves his slippers, especially when the weather isn’t all that warm. I used to try to steal them and run off but he would go a bit mental and threaten to warm my backside with them! Which, I suppose, isn’t too bad when the weather isn’t all that warm.

I have found a new game that I like to play now. When he isn’t wearing them and he isn’t looking I sneak up and lick the inside. I know that sounds disgusting, and trust me it doesn’t taste that good, but the look on his face when he puts his bare foot in his freshly slimed slippers is worth a hundred warmed backsides.

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The best toy of all

I’ve always enjoyed attacking my dad, not in a nasty way of course, just jumping on his slippers or pulling the bottom of his trouser legs. Anyway my repeated attacks coupled with regular wear and tear from his huge clodhopper feet meant that my mom went out and bought him new slippers. “There’s nothing wrong with my slippers” whined my ever-complaining dad, “They’re comfortable.” Mom looked down at them and sighed, “They could walk on their own by now!”

Later that day she came back with his new slippers and he reluctantly put them on, “Do they fit ok?” mom enquired. “I suppose,” mumbled dad, although you could tell he liked them straight away. “Give me your old ones and I’ll throw them in the dustbin where they belong.” Dad handed her one slipper, “where’s the other one?” she demanded. Dad looked around then back at her, “It’s gone, I’ll look for it later.” Off mom went to dispose of the toxic footwear.

When she left the room dad reached into the back of his waistband and pulled out the other old slipper; I was sat down at his feet looking up at him after my initial sniff told me I didn’t particularly like these new slippers, he grinned down at me and said, “saved this for you boy” and threw it across the room. CHAAAAAAARGE!!!!!! I grabbed the slipper and took it straight out into the garden, I lapped the garden a couple of times then came back in through the kitchen, into the hall and started lapping the coffee table. Alf was on the windowsill and woke up to shout encouragement. Jess made a grab for my prize but she’s so slow she came nowhere near it. I stopped running and shook it and shook it, growling through clenched teeth. I tossed it into the air and it landed on my head, so I shook it some more.

Dad was sat down watching TV so I took the slipper to him and we had a tug-of war, after a a couple of minutes he got it off me but I was already turned and into my stride by the time he threw it. I took it back to him and we played tug again. Just then mom came into the room and caught us playing with the supposedly lost slipper, we both stopped and looked round at her: “Boys!” she said with an air of exasperation and left the room, Jess hauled her big butt off the floor and followed mom, looking back at us trying to recreate the same expression. Me and dad watched them go, looked at each other then started wrestling with the slipper again.