Bones v the zombies

When I was a puppy, for those of you that remember that far back, I told you about falling asleep and waking up to be confronted by my first zombie. It wasn’t a real one of course, it was on tv: mom and dad were watching “The Walking Dead”. But I didn’t know and I woke up to see a close up shot of this undead thing staring at me with lifeless eyes. You’ll remember I growled a warning to it which made my family laugh and me a bit embarrassed. Zombies don’t exist, they’re just figments of the imagination of skins like George A. Romero and Mark Tufo…..aren’t they

Ok, well check this story out. In a place called Miami a skin was shot by police as he chewed the face off some other skin. Both of them were in the nip (pardon the pun), that means naked by the way if you’re not familiar with the slang.

The report says that the police told him to behave himself but he growled at them and carried on chewing, eating his nose and eyeballs! yeeeeuch!!! Then they shot him but it didn’t stop him so they carried on shooting until he was killed; what are the odds on the kill shot having to be to the head? Remember the only way to put them down permanently is to destroy the brain or seperate the head from the neck.

This is it, this is how it always starts. The beginning of the zombie apocalypse, be ready, be prepared: you skins are about to lose your place as the dominant species, top of the food chain. I’m going to sit in the front window and guard the house – Bones is prepared, are you?

Sick puppy

I don’t know what I ate across the fields yesterday but I feel so rotten. I think I overdid it on the grass because I brought up a grassy knoll on the rug when I got home.

I didn’t eat my dinner yesterday, which mom was worried about because I love my food, but I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to fight the other two, I just sat there feeling sorry for myself. Jess came and nudged me with her nose to see if I was ok, but I just hadn’t got the energy to do anything.

Dad picked me up and I fell asleep on his lap. They were watching “The Walking Dead” on tv so when I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a zombie shuffling towards me! I wasn’t scared even though I’d never seen a zombie before, I growled a warning to it and everyone laughed. I was still half-asleep, I didn’t know it was on tv! Give me a break, I’m ill.

This morning I feel a little better, I managed a bit of my breakfast but as soon as dad left the room, the disgusting whale Jess charged over and stuck her fat face in my bowl, I grabbed her ear and pulled and a fight ensued: I must be feeling better.

I’ll get some sleep and I should be fit for a walk this afternoon, I didn’t go out this morning because my belly was playing me up a bit. I’ll be fine later though, perhaps I should lay off eating everything I can get in my mouth for a while. On that subject, every evening my dad goes into the back garden on slug patrol. He makes sure there are no slugs or snails around that we might eat, he says he wants to protect us from someone called Lungworm; I don’t know who Lungworm is but he sounds like a bit of a nasty character, so keep your dogs safe and watch out for this guy Lungworm – check this link out for more info:

http://www.lungworm.co.uk/scripts/pages/en/home.php